Something that brings me a lot of joy is how expanded the conversation has become around the idea of the feminine, or divine, or archetypal feminine, and the masculine, or divine, or archetypal masculine. About four years back an incredible woman that I’ve now had the pleasure to meet made this movie, Ensoulment, investigating the feminine in Western culture, and I remember thinking that it felt like a pretty new concept for people.
Today I feel like I see people writing about it everyday, from all kinds of perspectives, and I feel revitalized by that. At the same time, I recognize that some people don’t resonate with the concept of there being any particularity to “the feminine” or “the masculine”, or who have felt oppressed by these categories one way or another. I would like to invite all who feel that way to engage with me, I would love to learn about the way this writing hits you. I understand ‘the feminine’ and ‘the masculine’ as two essential and vital energies I recognize inside of my human experience, i.e. the sense of having a “feminine side” and a “masculine side”, or of feeling “like a girl” or “like a boy” interchangeably. Not to say that everyone has this experience or should, but simply that I do.
When I feel into or embody my femininity or my masculinity, I have a sense of what that feels like inside of myself, it’s a distinction that’s has been shaped inside of me through cultural/societal messaging, dreams, and internal contemplation. I feel it in a variety of situations, but probably most often when I exert my power.
Through this, I’ve come to understand the essence of my masculine power as: exerting my power to create the world as I desire it to be. And the essence of my feminine power as: exerting my power to fully embrace the world precisely as it already is. Where masculine power asserts, feminine power surrenders.
I can understand if it feels oppressive to name surrendering as the power women have. But to me, this is because in today’s patriarchal society, where individuals labeled/read as men disproportionately have access to power, masculine power is often simply a synonym for power itself, and we’ve been trained to completely disregard how empowering it is to surrender. I think we have all believed the lie for too long that to surrender, which requires trust, vulnerability, and devotion is to be weak and powerless, but that is only true if you linger there for too long. For me, the path is not to favor either side, but to seek balance between both. This is how I learn to exert my power with integrity.
To me, the feminine power of surrender is what allows the power of vulnerability, for the power of allowing contradiction, acceptance, diversity, and humility, the power of not knowing, of letting go what you thought you knew. After we have taken action to exert our masculine power to create and assert, at some point or another the time will come for you to let that truth go, and the more people that are directly affected by your individual decisions, i.e. the more power/resources that you have access to, the more often and intentionally you should open again to the possibility that you actually do not know anything for sure, and trust the power you have to surrender to and fully embrace what is.
After all, right on the other side of that surrender is the recognition that at the end of the day that while you fundamentally know nothing, there’s one infinite thing that you can know very very well…better than anyone else on this planet. And it is how you feel, who you are, and what your truth is right here and right now. And it is precious. And it is powerful, and its truth is needed, and when you feel it, and you allow that masculine energy to embody it, and put it into the action of creation, the whole dance begins again.
So I pray that we can all muster that bright shining sun fueled courage of conviction to stand on the top of the hill and declare—this is me! Behold! I am what I am! And then allow the natural course to follow, to feel the beautiful aching melancholy tug of the moon, illuminating our stars, asking us to rest, to relax, to connect, to simply be, surrendering completely into a place where pain no longer feels so different from love, where shame has no hold, and where we are absolved from all of our transgressions. Haven’t we all experienced the divinely transformative power of that embrace?
How do you understand the relationship between your masculine and feminine energies? Does this distinction resonate with you at all? Have you had any recent dreams where you bore witness to various embodiments of these archetypes? I would love to you engage with you about this! Feel free to share any dreams you may think are relevant to this to KeziaVida.K@gmail.com, I’d love to utilize dreams as a tool for illustrating this topic.
Kezia, there is so much wisdom in what you say—and also complexity. Thank you. It’s been interesting for me, as a lesbian in late middle age, that I often dream of myself as a young experiencing surrender. I think the masculine within us often surrenders to the feminine (not to a single female, but to a feminine wholeness) in order to return to its truest self—where the individuality of a solitary human being is a unique expression of all life, and ultimately not separate at all. I wrote about a dream like this in a blog post that might be relevant here: http://www.compassdreamwork.com/loving-awareness/ I appreciate your exploration of this deep and richly paradoxical subject!
Thank you for the kind reading and response! It is definitely a complex subject!! Made all the more complicated by the huge range of associations people have with their gender and sexuality. I definitely resonate with the idea that the masculine needs to learn how to surrender–within and without. There definitely feels to be a collective holding on to power, the power to assert and control, both on the individual and global level. Sending you much love on this cloudy Saturday here in New Orleans 🙂