The dream has happened two times now. The first time was like a year ago [in real life], where I met 2 girls (strangers) and we were at a small party. I tried to communicate to them maybe in the efforts of wanting to be heard and included but I could feel it wasn’t the case. I wanted to be their friend and included in the business ideas that they claimed they were, genuinely, but that wasn’t the case.
A couple of days later I had the dream. The dream was I was in the group of girls (these girls were not present). We were having sisterly conversations and every time I had an insight and I wanted to speak something that could be of help to them, my voice went dry. Like really passionate about wanting to say something that is meaningful and profound and that happened.
This week I had the same dream too. I was with two girls from my University. We fell apart with these friends, one I clearly know who she is, the other is very vague.. but i have a feeling they are friends back from University. We are seated somewhere and we decide to do Inner work together. [I feel] so passionate to share my latest healed trauma and how I spotted it from my childhood. Then it happens again. My voice goes dry. I cant speak. All I remember is the passion to share and the profundity of trust among other genuine emotions. It happened again.
My question was, what could my subconscious mind protecting me from?
Thank you so much dreamer for reaching out and sharing your dream. There was a poignancy to your dream experience that pierced through an inner veil and has created the spark of desire in you to integrate a piece of your shadow. My prayer and intention is always that this integration inspires healing and growth alongside the inevitable transformation.
First, I appreciate you sharing a real world experience that was then reflected in a very similar way in your dream. Because we are conditioned to believe that the external, material world, aka “reality”, is the source of all truth, it can be tempting to interpret that the dream is suggesting something specifically about that encounter. For example, questions could arise like, what is my dream trying to tell me about those girls or that conversation? Is it trying to send me a warning about that interaction for some reason? What does this mean about what happened with those girls?
I do not believe that the externally observed material world is the source of all truth, though. Instead, I believe that there is an internally observed non-material source of truth, one that we can access in a multitude of ways—with dreams being my favorite :).
So when I think about why your dream used the scenario of speaking to two girls that rhymed with your waking life experience, to me it is because of the dream’s deep desire for you to come into contact with that felt experience, and to remind you that this is an experiencing you are having in your “real” life.
What experience am I referring to? …so passionate to share my latest healed trauma and how I spotted it from my childhood. Then it happens again. My voice goes dry. I cant speak. All I remember is the passion to share and the profundity of trust among other genuine emotions.
So really what I can say and the bottom line of any “dream interpretation” that I can offer, and I know it can sound terribly simple…but take 2-3 minutes right now, and let yourself sink into that dream moment bolded above. When I say sink into…I mean bring your mind’s eye back into the experience, breathe into your body, and set your mind into a state of observation that allows for your perception of how your emotion is impacting your internal somatic sensations, and vice versa.
Doing this practice will bring you to insight and understanding. In simplest terms the dream is bringing you back into this emotional experience. You share that you have a variety of genuine emotions. I would invite you to spend time with each of them, not from a perspective of trying to “understand” them or fit them into a broader story about who you are, your past, etc. I would instead invite you to simply experience them.
It is only from being grounded in the somatic emotional experience that we can explore and understand our patterns of emotional reaction and behavior intellectually. And very often in my work, just spending some deep time in a contemplative state with dream images is worth 30 minutes of exploring the material from an intellectual perspective.
All that said, when you ask the question, what could my subconscious mind be protecting me from?, the first thought that comes to my head is to turn that question back to you, i.e. is there something you feel you need protection from? Or more simply, is there something you’re afraid of?
I don’t want to assume that you feel fear in the dream when you are full of desire to speak passionately, from the heart, about something vulnerable and meaningful. But I can say that it sounds like a moment that would bring up a lot of fear for me. I feel like I am someone who is outspoken, an open book, and deeply passionate—but wow have I been blown away by how the fear just lights a fire in my belly sometimes when I am trying to share about something really important to me.
The fact that you have returned to this dream again and again shows that this particular desire you have to share passionately is front and center in your inner life right now. Your dream, and your lingering sense that these dream images hold something for you—they are leading you back into a deeper, more integrated experience of you in this world. I do hope that my words here in some way encourage you to keep following the path.
I hope this is helpful dear dreamers! And yes feel free to email me your dreams, keziavida.k@gmail.com. I can’t guarantee a particular pace at the moment but do know that I always read them and feel so warm and comforted by the sharing.
