Why We Dream — A Question to Answer for Ourselves

On Tuesday two friends in New Orleans texted me around 10 am, telling me that someone was talking about dreams on national radio. It was Alice Robb, who was recently on On Point, and just published a book called Why We Dream: The Transformative Power of Our Nightly Journey. This instantly caught my attention, since her subtitle is all over my website copy. I’m always talking about the transformative power of our dreams! Now someone’s doing it on national radio! Robb’s book has received comprehensive coverage in the mainstream media, with features being written by her or about her in the NY Times, Time Magazine, The Cut, and Tuesday on On Point.

I have not read her book. I’ve only read the three pieces above and then listened to her interview. When dreams get coverage in the mainstream media–especially when the message is something like Robb’s, who is urging individuals to reawaken a relationship with their dreams, the primary reaction I have is excitement. Truly, this is the foundation of the message I wish to spread as far and wide as possible. I am thrilled that the mainstream media is paying attention. I know dreams are a powerful and beneficial tool that should be given more respect and attention in Western society. Anything that Robb’s book can do to spread that message is definitely positive.

And yet, there are some tropes about dreams that were repeated on the program that I’d like to respond to. While I couldn’t be more excited that there is a growing consensus that dreams are actually useful, there are a few things we need to get straight in order to reap the greatest benefits from our dreams..

1. Lucid Dreaming Is NOT the Most Accessible Entry Point into Dreamwork

Robb and many other people curious about their dreams begin with lucid dreaming. When I tell people I do dreamwork, they often assume that I am involved in lucid dreaming. Instagram hashtags tell the story: #dreaminterpretation has 15,233 posts, #luciddreaming has 102K. I could speculate as to why this is, but to me what’s most important is that lucid dreaming is hard. There are many teachers and guidebooks that can help you hone this skill. But it’s challenging and does not always bear fruit. For this main reason, I do not think that lucid dreaming should be the starting point when it comes to discussing dreams and dreamwork.

There’s another reason it bothers me: when we focus primarily on lucid dreams, we value our lucid dreams as more significant than other dreams, creating a hierarchy. Such a hierarchy has no rational basis, and is detrimental to building a positive relationship with your dreams. In my personal experience, the more open-minded and non-judgmental we are towards the content of our dreams, the more beneficial they become.

2. Focusing on Scientific Research about Dreams is Not A Practical Method of Doing Dreamwork

The focus of Robb’s book is reporting on the scientific research being conducted about dreams. As someone who has devoted her life fully to dreamwork, I am pretty ignorant when it comes to the latest research, so I look forward to reading the book. But there’s a reason I’ve shied away from focusing on scientific theories and research about dreams: I think we miss something essential about what dreams are when we look to external authorities, in this case psychological researchers, to inform us what value or meaning our dreams have.

What the latest scientific or psychological theory says about what dreams are or how to utilize them can certainly be interesting. But to me, what’s most important is what value or meaning that you feel your dream has for you. Dreamers should be given the encouragement to define the meaning of their dreams for themselves. If we are on the cusp culturally of reawakening our connection to dreams, it’s important that the conversation stays open to the broad range of applications and phenomena that define our dream worlds.

Plus, scientific research about dreamwork is at its early stages. We are far from a scientific consensus about the best way to utilize our dreams for psychological benefit. So why would we turn to scientific research first if we’re interested in dreams? Think about it like yoga: would it make more sense to do yoga by reading scientific research about yoga and then trying to practice it, or go to a yoga class to learn from someone with yoga experience?

3. Dreams Need to Be Experienced from the Non-Rational Parts of Our Consciousness

This ties into the issue above, but takes it a little bit deeper. In the New York Times piece, Robb asks, “If dreams are so important, and if so many of their functions depend on our understanding them, why do they often seem incomprehensible? Why do they traffic in garbled metaphors and disjointed images?”, and then reviews some scientific research that is meant to illuminate this.

I think this is a very important question. I contend we are often confused by our dreams because our minds are overly dominated by rational consciousness. Our shared Western culture privileges the rational, logical, categorizing functions of our minds. It is no accident that these traits are associated with groups that are privileged in our society, i.e. scientists, men, white people. We often think about our dreams from this perspective, because we are taught that this perspective is what’s real. Out of mental habit, we force the experience of our dream into a coherent story that can weave back into our ongoing narrative about who we are and how the world works. In doing so, we often end up missing the message of the dream entirely.

But this is not the only way to consider dreams. In my experience, when we engage with our dreams on their own terms–simply being present to the felt experience of the dream, the meaning of our dreams is quite easily revealed. It is the part of our consciousness that feels, imagines, creates, and remembers that is most adept at understanding what our dreams are trying to tell us.

This shift in perspective is at the core of my understanding of dreams, and why I believe they have been so looked down upon in modern Western society. Our dreams are made of the stuff that we are taught to repress or deny–they are full of wildness, irrationality, contradiction, suffering, regeneration and ultimately of unconditional love. Interpreted through the mind of judgment, binary thinking, and linear models of success, dreams are nonsense. Experienced through the heart, and dreams awaken us to a new understanding of what is real and what isn’t.

My favorite part of the show was when Robb articulated how dreams became so denigrated in modern Western society–it all goes back to Freud. This has been my experience. People come to me often with their dreams just to be reassured that their dreams aren’t as Freud declared, some kind of secret wish fulfillment. If this book is signaling a new awakening to the power of our dreams, one that is finally shedding the shadows of Freud’s influence, I could not be more excited. But I usher it in with one small request: that this rekindling of our relationship to dreams doesn’t smack of the mistakes our Western culture typically makes–commodifying, insisting on a unified perspective, judging, and controlling. Let’s commit to staying radically open when it comes to discussing dreams. If we can collectively transform our relationship to dreaming–something that all humans do for hours every week–we will regain access to a fundamental human experience that has the power to transform our relationship to ourselves and everything around us.

And so in my dream all dreamers would agree to give their rational minds a rest and enter into their dream worlds with open hearts and humble minds. The most delicious gifts await.

Happy dreaming everyone!
Love Kezia Vida